The past 3 weeks, I decided I needed to have some serious alone time. And this means, I was completely by myself and human interaction was limited. But I felt like I needed a detox, from people, the environment and social media.
For the past 3 months I saw my life literally passing by, like I am part of the audience, and not the actual actress of my own movie. Since I graduated, everything was happening so quickly that I felt like I was loosing control to some extent and I realised I didn’t give myself time to process all the information that was literally being thrown at me. On the other hand, a lot of my biggest dreams started to become reality.
And I can definitely say, I lost control over who I felt I was and who I wanted to be.
The only way, I could get that back, was by completely cutting myself out for a while and being alone. Not surrounded by anyone that can influence me in any way or influence any of my decisions.
I learned a lot by being alone.
I had moments of feeling lonely,
I had moments of euphoria,
I had moments of sadness,
I had moments of joy.
But most importantly? I finally found myself again. I had ENOUGH time to reflect upon my actions and those of others. And I realised where I want to see myself and what I want to do. Of course not 100%, because life is unpredictable, but to an extent. Because I gave myself the chance to not rush into another situation again, without having the time to think about the possible consequences. Consequences, that might have nothing to do with my actual self or the person, I would like to become.
Life is a growing game, and you have your controller in your hands, don’t let it slip out of your hands and if so, try to catch it again and get your control back.